Operation: Boyfriends
by Brennan4
Summary: The villain Killer Moth is holding 20 people hostage, and Nightwing is the only one who can save them. To rescue them, he must enact a dangerous and complex plan. Step 1: Kiss Wally West on the Mouth. Not slash, believe it or not. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story is loosely based off an episode of Teen Titans called, "A Date with Destiny," but with a few twists here and there. It takes place about half-way through the timeskip, so Robin has become Nightwing, Jason Todd is still alive, and Wally and Artemis have left for college together. Please send reviews! 

The city of Gotham began as a distant blip on the horizon. Within a few seconds, it surrounded Wally West, the green and brown blurs of trees and fields melting into the grey and clear of buildings. The starry night was replaced by flashing billboards and windows that lit up everything around him and it took the speedster's eyes a moment to readjust. Something told him the architects hadn't planned for people to enter the city at speeds close to the sound barrier. Wally had made this trip dozens, perhaps hundreds of times before when he came to visit Dick. So when Dick gave him an urgent text telling him to meet atop the Falcone Imports Building, he didn't have to check the Internet for directions.

He zoomed up the staircase and stepped out onto the roof, where Dick was waiting. His new Nightwing costume faded into the cloudy night behind him.

"Glad you could make it, KF," said Nightwing. "It's so nice to be able to know I can rely on you."

The hero's smile felt forced, and he spoke through gritted teeth. Between this and the brevity of the text message Wally knew something was off. It was as if Dick thought they were being watched or something.

"What did you call me for?" he asked cautiously.

Nightwing stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around the speedster's neck. Wally looked into his eyes and was suddenly aware that Dick was now taller than him. Puberty had been much nicer to him than Wally, or anybody else Wally knew, for that matter.

"For this." said Nightwing, as he kissed Wally right on the lips.

Wally felt a similar sensation to the time Gorilla Grodd had punched him so hard he flew through one side of an office building and out the other. At the same time he was overcome with shock, confusion, and a little more excitement than he would like to admit. Why was his best friend, former adorable prankster and someone who now looked like they belonged on some fitness magazine cover, kissing him? His mind was reeling with possible answers. He had so much going through his mind that he stood there slack-jawed like an idiot, more still than he had been in years.

Nightwing's mouth moved to his right ear. "Don't panic," he whispered.

The door to the staircase opened and a girl with blond hair and a pink dress stepped out onto the rooftop. She screeched, "Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Nightwing grinned. "Hey Kitty. What a surprise to see you here. Looks like you've caught me and Kid Flash in the act."

"Who are you and what the hell is going on?" Wally had had more than enough of all this.

Nightwing sounded as though he was about to giggle. "Kid Flash, meet Kitty Walker. Her father is the super-criminal Killer Moth."

Looking at the crazed look in the girl's eyes, Wally doubted that emotional balance psychological wellness ran in the family.

"As you can see, Kitty, Kid Flash and I are madly in love. That's why I won't go on a date with you. You've found my darkest secret. I guess your dad will have to release the hostages."

Kitty's eye twitched in a way that would haunt Wally's dreams. She said in a troublingly stilted fashion, "Oh darling, I'm sure you're just confused. If you would just go on one little, fabulous date with me, and I don't know why that's so much to ask for, I'm sure you'll see that our love is destined by the power of fate itself. You'll be over your silly attraction to men in no time." She giggled.

_Great, she's mildly homophobic too. As if being COMPLETELY INSANE wasn't enough. _Wally just wanted this day to end, so he could go back to his dormitory, watch TV, and pretend none of this ever happened. _Something tells me I'm not getting off that easy._

"Tell you what sweetheart. If you two are so in love, why don't I tag along on your next date? If I can change your mind, my daddy will let the hostages go. Deal? "

Nightwing's smile faded and was quickly replaced with a false one. "Sure Kitty. There's nothing my boyfriend and I would enjoy more than your continued presence in our personal lives. "

Kitty grinned like a hyena on morphine. "Great! See you on Tuesday at the Gotham Central Diner!" She skipped away, leaving Wally and Dick alone in the cold night air together.

"Okay, what the _HELL _is going on!" Wally shouted at the top of his lungs. "You kiss me, and now we're going on a date with that little psycho? This deserves one hell of an explanation."

Nightwing sighed. "For the past few years, Kitty Walker has had a romantic obsession with me. Arkham psychologists suspect she pushed her father into his crime spree so she could get to meet me. Two days ago, Killer Moth took twenty subway commuters hostage. Kitty has stated that he will kill them unless I go on a date with her."

"So why not kiss Batgirl?! Or Artemis? She's in town visiting her mom anyway."

Nightwing raised an eyebrow. "You'd be okay with me kissing your girlfriend."

"So not the point. _Anddon'ttellherIsaidthat_." He whispered the last part so fast Nightwing almost couldn't hear it.

"For your information, I actually tried this with Batgirl first. Kitty thought I was doing it to make her jealous. She made her dad blow up the stock exchange in response. So I decided this ruse might work a bit better."

"So why didn't you give me some sort of warning?"

Nightwing sighed. "I was going to use Jason, but when I explained the plan, he couldn't stop laughing. He wasn't able to take the operation seriously enough, so I decided my accomplice needed the element of surprise. "

Wally was troubled by how much thought Dick had put into this whole operation. His best friend had recently been showing a trend of calculated, obsessive behavior, much like his mentor. As if that wasn't enough, one other detail about this whole fiasco had him worried.

"So Jason knows about this too? Dear God, he'll never keep his mouth shut. He'll tell Artemis, won't he? She'll never let me live this down. "

Artemis and Jason had become close friends ever since he joined the Team, largely due to their similar backgrounds. Before she had left for college, he visited Artemis and her mom almost weekly.

"Well, KF? Will you help me with this? Are you feeling the aster?"

"I am so not feeling the aster. But I will do this for you. I just have two conditions: We never, ever, _ever_, speak of this again, and if you absolutely must kiss me again, no tongue. Was it really necessary the first time?"

Nightwing's adopted his trademark smile. "Figured I may as well have some fun with this."

####

Kitty sat on her pink bed, in her pink bedroom, holding a pink stuffed animal. The plush was one of the few things she had held onto from her childhood. The butterfly's soft velvet wings had grown crusty over the years. She used to smother her face with the toy and cry into the wings whenever her dad was in one of his moods. Until she first glimpsed Robin on the news the butterfly had been the greatest object of her affection. She had almost no friends at Gotham Academy, and her tumblr followers had been backing off lately due to what they called, "troubling behavior."

She wasn't sure how she felt about the recent turn of events. On the surface, she truly believed that Nightwing was just confused, and would realize how much he needed her soon. On the other hand, his seeming attraction to another male was deeply disturbing. _It would explain why he hasn't accepted me yet. Does this mean he never will?_ Kitty did her best to suppress these doubts. Her experience on tumblr had informed her that there was a wide spectrum of human sexuality, and it was foolish to think her darling rested firmly on one side.

Lastly, she felt even more fascinated by the hero now. She had to admit that his... _friend_ was also very attractive, and she couldn't get the image of them kissing out of her mind. Visions of the two lovers danced to her heads, their slender, firm, and toned bodies twisting in ecstasy at each other's touch. Kitty thought about them for longer than she would have liked. Maybe she could get the best of both worlds somehow.

_Of course I can. When your dad is a super criminal, you can get whatever you want. Maybe we can have some sort of 'open relationship'. An open relationship where he is completely devoted to me, of course. _

Her door, adorned with photos of Robin and Nightwing, opened. Her father stepped in. He said, "How did it go, my little angel?"

Kitty groaned. "Daddy, do you_ have _to wear the costume inside? Do you _want _to go back to Arkham?"

Killer Moth bowed his head in regret. His helmet, which was a size to large for him, slid down his head. As he adjusted it, his wing apparatus shifted uncomfortably. The whole suit had been put together in a hurry, so it didn't fit very well. The other Arkham patients made fun of this, the color, and virtually everything else about the costume. "I'm sorry, Kitty. I just wanted to check on you before going back to the hostages. They need more food. Is there anything you want from the supermarket?"

Kitty said, "We're out of Nutella again. The plan has hit a... complication. But I've got everything under control."

"I'm so proud of you for taking initiative on this, angel."

"Now would you please _get out of my room! _I'm entitled to a little thing called, privacy, Daddy! God!"

Killer Moth quietly exited the room as quickly as he could. he hated when he made his little darling angry. She was all he had left.

Kitty's laid back down on her bed, resting her head on a mountain of pillows. Soon Nightwing would be hers. They would live together in true bliss for all of eternity. And if anyone tried to keep them apart, she would blast it off the face of the earth.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

"So then what did you say?"

Jason readjusted his sunglasses, which had slipped during a fit of laughter. It was mostly a habitual action, Artemis knew his secret identity and the two had nothing to hide from each other.

"I said, 'if you really wanted to make out with me, you didn't have to wait until your stalker took hostages. Kind of kills the romance.' He gave up on me ever being able to take the assignment seriously. "

Artemis asked, "So now what is he going to do?"

Jason grinned. He'd been waiting to tell her about this part. Trying to be as nonchalant as he could he said, "Oh, I think he said he was gonna use Wally or something."

Artemis sat motionless with a frozen expression on her face. She was unable to process just how damn funny the whole thing was. She would be able to hold this over his head for the rest of their lives. Every time Wally forgot Valentine's Day, or pretended he didn't notice the massive pile of dirty dishes he had created, or left his gross boxers out, she would be able to pull this out. It was her ace in the hole._ If God exists, I must have done something to make Him happy._

Jason, barely able to control his excitement, said, "And that's not even the best part. This Kitten girl didn't buy it, so now she wants to see Dick and Wally on a date. Together."

Artemis got up to pour herself a glass of water. "If this gets any better, I'm seriously going to die. And my tombstone will read, 'here lies someone who died because it was too damn funny." It will serve as a mystery, beckoning all who see it to ponder what could possibly have killed me."

"And the best part is, I'm not even surprised." said Jason. "Those two have been so close for so long that something like this was bound to happen. And one of Nightwing's stalkers was going to pull something like this sooner or later. I thought it would have been that adorable Drake kid who approached him first, but whatever."

Jason's tone grew slightly more serious for a moment. "You realize, we're going to have to help them with this."

"Of course. What would they do without us?" Artemis took a sip of water. "Wait, this means we have to fight Killer Moth, right? He's so lame."

"I've never met him, but Nightwing came back from a fight with him and said something like, 'My hair's sticking up from electricity, I have silk stuck in bodily orifices I didn't know I even had, and I need some bleach to wash the memory of that outfit from my brain.' He went on to take on of his ridiculously long showers."

"At least we aren't stuck with his daughter and the culmination of six years of bromantic tension."

####

For once in his life, Wally took his sweet time getting somewhere. The speedster felt out of place in his outfit now that he wasn't just a blur to people he passed by. Even in Gotham, the costume turned some heads. He was on his phone, going over the plan one last time with Artemis. "Any luck on finding the hostages?"

Artemis replied, "Yep. We found the Walkers' new home in the suburbs by tracking Kitten's tumblr. Want to know what her URL is?

"Not particularly."

"Nightwing's glorious butt dot tumblr dot com. She has more followers than M'gann."

Wally grimaced. _If God exists, and I don't think He does, He must really hate me_. Finally he reached the doors of the diner, where he saw Nightwing and Kitten standing next to each other.

"Oh, look, Kid Flash is here," said Nightwing. "That means you can stop groping my butt, Kitten." Nightwing had never looked so uncomfortable in his life. His usual athletic, casual stance had become stiff and rigid. He sat down next to Wally, deliberately making Kitten sit across the table from them. Unfortunately, they now had to make eye contact with her, a soul tarnishing experience. Wally had never seen someone with quite so much makeup on, and his aunt worked for a cable news station.

Kitten broke the uncomfortable silence. "So, how long have you two been together?"

Dick answered immediately, almost as if he had rehearsed the answer. Which he had. "We only started dating a few days ago, but we've known each other for years. After you made me realize Batgirl was,'just me deluding myself to stay comfortable,' as you put it, I realized I couldn't keep living a lie anymore."

He wrapper a muscular arm around Wally and kissed him lightly on the cheek. In a tone of voice much too loud for the current settings, Kitten said, "Well, aren't you going to kiss him back?" It came off as more of a threat than a question.

Wally stifled a sigh and turned to Dick.

"Yeah, sweetie, aren't you going to kiss me?" Nightwing grinned in it's of himself. _Sadist. Remind me to punch him when this is over_. He leaned in and kissed his best friend back.

It felt really, really weird. _Oh God, what have I done. We've known each other since forever, and now I know what his cheek tastes like. I'm never gonna get that out of my head. Every time I think of our missions together, or our sleepovers at Wayne Manor where we would play videogames for hours and I would comfort him when he had nightmares, I'm gonna be reminded of this._ He stopped this chain of thought before he imagined Batman's reaction to all this. Good thing he was out fighting the Secret Clan of Something or Other right now in Tibet.

A waiter came by with a smile that really made Wally want to punch him in the face. He asked them what they would like to drink, and Wally had to resist the urge to order straight liquor laced with potassium cyanide.

####

"Y'know, for an escaped asylum patient, Killer Moth has a pretty nice home. Better than my apartment, that's for sure." Artemis knocked down the front door and gestured for Robin to come closer.

"What's the point of trying to be quiet when you've already kicked down the door, oh wise archer." Jason had almost the exact same smile Dick used to have when he was in the costume.

They walked down the main hallway. Most of the walls were adorned with poster of Robin or Nightwing, the kind from teen magazines or printed off the Internet. Some of them had fake signatures with encouraging messages written to Kitten. In reality, they were written by either her father or herself. The two heroes felt a little sad and extremely uncomfortable about the decor.

Robin said, "Kitten is clearly the one in control in this household. She would decorate the parts she regularly stayed in, while her dad would stay somewhere quiet and secluded. He's the supervillain equivalent of a geek who lives in his mom's basement. Well, his daughter's basement.

"And that's where the hostages are." said Artemis.

They came to the only door in the house not covered with Dick's adorable smile. The two heroes followed a flight of stairs down to a dark basement. They found the hostages stuck together with some sort of strong, gooey substance. Out of the dark emerged a figure in a bright purple, orange, and green outfit. Artemis aimed her crossbow with one hand and texted Wally with the other. Killer Moth aimed an Uzi at the pair.

"D-don't come any c-closer," he stammered, "Or I'll..." Before he finished the sentence, he nervously squeezed the trigger and began spraying the room with bullets.

The villain rose in the air under the power of neon green wings. The wings were a mechanical apparatus he had built himself, and they didn't work as well as he would have liked them to. He swayed and jerked in the air, making it extremely hard to aim. Artemis wasn't worried they he would hit her as much as the possibility of a stray bullet hitting a hostage. Jason shot a grapple line which clamped between the wings.

Robin was pulled into the air and landed right on Killer Moth's back. The villain grabbed Robin's leg, which was poking out behind his shoulder. His glove sent a stream of electricity through the boy's body, sending him crashing to the ground.

The turned to Artemis, and fired strafing shots until he ran out of bullets. Artemis aimed her crossbow, but a jet of gooey silk launched from Killer Moth's wrist and gummed up the weapon. She ducked out of the way as he came speeding towards her. She saw three bladed discs fly through the air and lodge themselves in his wings. After a few seconds the exploded, knocking Killer Moth out of the air and into a wall.

"C'mon," panted Robin. "Let's get the hostages free."

####

Wally felt a surge of joy when he read Artemis's message. He stood up and smiled for the first time all day. "Guess what, Kitten?" he said, loud enough for everyone in the diner to hear. "I just got a text message from our friends. We found the hostages. Time for this date to end."

Kitten's face tightened into a grin reminiscent of the Joker's, but with braces. "Sit right back down, homo." She smacked Wally across the face without her purse. "There's a bomb in this diner, and if Nightwing doesn't kiss me before is over, I set it off."

A series of screams and gasps emerged from the other patrons as Kitten pull a cylinder covered with plastic rhinestones out of her purse.

"You... Bezazzled the detonator?" asked Nightwing, who couldn't help but be amused.

"And the bomb. Which will blow us all to smithereens it you get any ideas."

"Like this?" Nightwing flung one of his Wingdings at her, striking her in the forehead and knocking her to the floor.

Before she hit the ground, Kitten pressed the glowing red button at the top of the device. A blast of flame and a thundering noise tore through the diner.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

At the exact instant that Kitty pushed the glowing red button, Wally West grabbed the pair, pushed them into a corner, and then lifted the table in front of them. He had less than a second before the blast hit them, but he was fast enough to construct a makeshift shelter. The table took the brunt of the explosion, shattering into a shower of splinter. The residual force still lifted them off their feet and sent them crashing to the ground. Wally was lucky enough to be thrown at another booth, his acceleration decreased by the soft chair he landed on and the mushy fish-and-chips he had smashed through on his way. He looked up at the flaming remains of the restaurant, searching for wounded bystanders.

He pulled an unconscious man out from under some rubble and put him safely by the door, which had been spared the brunt of the explosion. As the adrenaline rush died down and he caught his breath, he noticed a sharp pain in his left cheek. He ran his fingers along it and pulled a sharp piece of plastic rhinestone that had drawn a scrape along his face. She really did Bezazzle the bomb. It must have been launched like a piece of shrapnel. He discarded the glittery jewel and scanned the rubble. A few bystanders were still conscious and seemed to be helping the injured. He scanned the scene but couldn't find Dick.

He buzzed bout every corner of the building searching for Nightwing. Dick emerged from behind a half-standing wall. Wally smiled at him, but Dick looked troubled.

"Behind you! " he shouted, right as a blunt object struck the back of his head. The speedster fell on the hard floor, ash mixing with his read hair as he returned towards his attacker. Kitten was brandishing a metal stool, grasped between trembling fingers. Although she was smiling, se didn't look happy at all.

"This is all your fault! " she screeched as she struck Wally on the forehead, knocking him out. She threw the stool aside and advanced towards Nightwing, her gait stilted and awkward. "Now sweetie, I think it's time to stop pretending and admit that we're just meant to be together."

"Kitten, come to the police with me and we'll talk this over."

Kitten growled. Her eyes watered as she said,"No, dammit, I'm sick of talking. True love isn't about talking things over, it's about taking what you deserve." She reached into her purse revealed a silver revolver with a pink handle. She fired a shot into the ceiling, prompting a few terrified shrieks from the remaining restaurant patrons.

"Now stop this ridiculous behavior right now."

Nightwing sighed, "Kitten, I..."

He didn't get to finish because she shot him in the knee. He collapsed to the ground in agony. The Kevlar padding could only take so much. Kitten nonchalantly brushed some stray strands of hair from her face and walked towards him. Each step resembled the movement of hands on a broken clock. She nudged Nightwing in the stomach with the toe of her high heels, flipping him over onto his back.

She knelt down beside Nightwing and placed her palm along his stomach. Even through the body armor she could feel his diaphragm rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. She turned her head and gazed at his face. His messy black hair and recently acquired cuts failed to deter her. Kitten poked the barrel of the pistol into his temple. She stroked his cheek and lightly touched the edge of his domino mask. He softly gripped her wrist and pushed her hand away, returning her longing gaze for the first time all day.

The bomb blast had left Kitten dazed and numb, so she didn't pause to consider her emotions at that moment. Without any hesitation she leaned in and kissed Nightwing's lips. A brief second of pure bliss was shattered when he bit her lower lip. She gasped in pain for a split second, enough time for Nightwing to jerk the gun from her hand, sliding it across the diner's tile floor. Kitten's expression turned from shock to rage as she grasped Nighwing's arms. Her sharp fingernails poked through the armor and scraped his skin. Although he was pinned to the ground, his trademark smile emerged on his face. He slammed his forehead against hers, sending her back against the wall. She slid lazily down a wallpaper depicting a bustling Gotham from the 1950's. She passed out and slumped to the floor.

####

"The EMT's are offering blankets if you want one."

Wally shrugged. "No thanks. I'm good." He looked around at the blazing wreckage, as police officers and paramedics scuttled in and out. "This feels like the ending to _Die Hard_ or something. "

Dick laughed. "If this were the end of _Die Hard_, we'd be making out in the back of a limo while "Let It Snow" played over the credits. "

Wally grimaced. "No thanks, dude. You're actually a pretty good kisser, but that's enough for me, thank you very much. I think we should make some sort of pact or something not to kiss another guy for as long as we live."

There were both quiet for a second. "I'm not sure I can do that, Wally." he said hesitantly.

"Why's that?"

With a concerned tone, Nightwing said, "Well, you know..."

Now Wally was concerned too. "No, I don't know."

"Because I'm... bisexual." There was a slight hint of nervous tension in Dick's voice as he said the last word, a tension that Wally didn't hear very often. "I figured you knew that already."

"Dude, I thought you were just really friendly." Wally put a hand on Dick's shoulder. "You could have told me that."

"I assumed just you knew. I don't talk about it very often, and I've never had a boyfriend, but I never tried to hide it."

Wally smiled. "If you ever do get a boyfriend, I hope your first date goes better than this. I would usually take a disaster like this to be a sign from above that it isn't meant to be."

Dick chuckled. "I hope karma gives me a lot of aster to balance this out."

"Seriously though. No more secrets, okay? I thought we'd have learned this by now."

Nightwing shrugged. "I never thought of it as a secret... But while we're at it, I still slept with a nightlight until I was 15."

"I knew that. Wayne Manor is really creepy at night."

"You knew that but didn't know I was bisexual?" said Dick, confused.

"We'll I don't know! My superpower is speed, not being observant!" Wally threw his hands up in the air in mock frustration.

"I can tell. Your phone's been vibrating for the last five minutes."

Wally pulled his phone out of his wrist compartments. He winced at the series of long, profanity-laden text messages Artemis and Jason had left them. They didn't have a ride home and were stuck in a basement with Killer Moth. They'd probably stop complaint when he told them how _his_ evening had gone. Because they'd be laughing too hard.

_Sometimes, life can be really unfair. You're stuck in a diner with your best friend, his staler, and the concentrated essence of pure awkwardness. On top of that there's a bomb, hostages, and a lunatic who thinks moths are threatening. _

_Still, I got to spend an evening with my best friend in the whole wide world. Can't be that bad._

The End.


End file.
